My husband and I have been married for 2 years. We have been together for 6 1/2 years. We started dating when we were 22. We started out doing to dating thing and the weekend away thing. Now that we are older and have been together longer, we find that we just enjoy each other's company. We enjoy date nights at home.
In today's world of social media, working at home, and an excess of technology, many things tend to get pushed aside. Sadly, one of the things that suffer with busy lives is our marriages. Today I want to show you how marriages suffer and provide ways to help you keep your marriage from becoming a statistic.
- 66% of divorce attorneys say that Facebook was their primary resource for case evidence.
- 88% say they have seen an increase in evidence from Facebook
- 30% of divorce filings name Facebook as a contributor
- This website is devoted to stories about social media ruining marriages
- There are even dating networks exclusively for married people looking for new partners
What does this mean for those of us who are not looking to get divorced? That we have to safe guard our marriages against the age of technology and social media. I don't know about you, but I believe divorce is an absolute last resort. My husband and I have instilled rules for our marriage that help us protect it.
- NO technology in the bedroom (with the exception of a TV for late night cuddling). My husband doesn't play Xbox in our bedroom. we don't talk on the phone or text in the bedroom either. I don't take my laptop in to work. This keeps our bedroom our sanctuary we aren't thinking of everything else while we are lying in bed together.
- If we have an argument (yes, we have them too), we don't run to Facebook, Twitter, or a blog to complain about the other one. I see this entirely too often and it breaks my heart.
- We praise each other in public. This goes along with a very important lesson my mom taught me: "praise in public, criticize in private." I truly enjoy being able to brag on my knight in shining armor. When he sees it, he glows with pride. On the same note, I love hearing my husband say to people online things like "my wife makes the best sausage balls."
- We never let anything come before our relationship. Even with parenting decisions, we keep in mind what is best for our family as a whole- these decision can affect a marriage.
There are more things that need to happen for a healthy marriage. Living together isn't enough- you have to actually spend time together. Just the other night, my husband surprised me by setting up the tent in the yard. He even left the top off so we could sleep under the stars. We had a pop up storm and couldn't sleep out there, but the thought was enough to rejuvenate us.
It is easy to come up with date ideas when you want to spend a chunk of cash, but everyone doesn't always have extra money lying around. Also, wouldn't your spouse love a surprise date night. Can you imagine how much they would appreciate how much thought, creativity, and time you put into a no-cost date night? Here are some ideas to get you started.
- Have an evening picnic in your yard (or a park if you don't have a yard). Pack a basket with whatever dinner you want, a dessert to share, some candles, champagne, a blanket, and a flower in a vase. Go together, set up, and enjoy each other's company.
- Have a game night. This can be board games, video games, card games, or even watching football. As long as it is just the two of you, it counts. Some of our favorites are Rock Band, Dungeons&Dragons, battle of the sexes, and monopoly. Its even better if you light some candles.
- Have a movie night. This movie can even be one you have seen a million times, just be sure to set the mood. Put the movie on, dim the lights, light some candles. Make a bowl of popcorn or a nice dessert. Don't forget to get a cuddle blanket. Its all ready for you and your spouse to curl up on the couch, enjoy each other, and act like teenagers.
- Cook dinner together. Open a bottle of wine, light some candles, and enjoy some time in the kitchen. My husband and I always have so much fun making pizzas or a seafood feast together. (P.S. He makes THE BEST stuffed mushrooms.)
Want more ideas? Check out these places:
When doing these, be sure to put on a nice outfit, do your hair and makeup, wear his favorite perfume, and get ready to enjoy your husband.
Remember what is important: spending time with each other, taking the time to love one another, and keeping your marriage strong. I hope you have enjoyed my ideas. What are your favorite home date nights?
Marriage still didn't work? My frieds at Benhur are offereing great advice for moving after a breakup!
Marriage still didn't work? My frieds at Benhur are offereing great advice for moving after a breakup!
You're right, a lot of people use facebook as a way to talk about their problems with their spouses in public instead of actually talking to their spouse about it. And they wonder why they are unhappy!! Great article, Cari!
ReplyDeleteJust like anything in life, I think there are definitely positives (as well as negatives) to marriage in the tech age. Sometimes venting with far-away friends on FB or reading what others have shared reminds me that no couple is perfect, no matter what it may look like on the outside. That knowledge can be reassuring, and ideas and encouragement can be shared that you might otherwise miss. My hubby and I also use it to stay connected - texting (sexting if you're brave), competing against each other in video games, and sharing things virtually keep us close. It's all about how you choose to use it!
ReplyDeleteExactly! The other thing that has been getting to me is the obvious flirting with men other than their husband. Just kills me! I have to say though that I love seeing your updates and pictures of your beautiful family!
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% Kristin. I just can't stand it when they are calling their spouses names or only post about the bad. No couple is perfect, but I don't want that permanent reminder that I said something mean. I do agree that there are ways that technology can assist your marriage. You gave me an idea- I will write a post about how it can do it. Thanks for pointing out that I failed to see the positive (when I get an idea in my head, sometimes I fail to look at both sides!)
ReplyDeleteI hope things are going great for you (and slowing down a bit!)