I've Missed You. Let's Talk About Where I've Been

 I'm going to admit. This will be a hard post to write, but that's why it has taken so long. I've missed this space so much over the past few years and want to be active here again, but the last couple of months made me miss it so much more. This is my peace and my escape. I needed it, but I didn't want to write. Why? 

My dad died. 

January 25th he left us. 

I didn't think he ever would. He turned 75 in December and I guess I took for granted that he would someday die. I have many regrets and things I could say and do. 

Dad and me on my wedding day. He paid for my bouquet because he wanted to make sure I had red roses and pearls- along with stemware and servingware with pearls in the handles. I'm his only daughter and he was so supportive of our marriage and kids. 

Most saw him as a rough guy who didn't care about a whole lot, but my dad loved fiercely, argued ferociously, worked hard, and was all in, no matter what. He was the biggest dreamer I've ever met. His life story is amazing and he experienced so many things and did so many interesting things. I loved hearing about the cars he owned and the bar he had. Here he is with a friend in front of his bar "The Blue Room" in Beaufort, SC. See, what I mean about his personality- that's him in the background. The one below is his last motorcycle purchase (already in his 70s). I knew he'd never ride it, but who am I to tear down a dream. 

Dad had many different careers- mechanic, construction, garbage collector, janitor, pizza and newspaper delivery, truck driver, plant worker, he delivered meds to nursing homes (called himself a drug runner), shrimper, bar owner, and many more. So much life experience. 

He was so smart and basically taught himself to read. He loved to read to learn, even encyclopedias. When I was a kid, he got Popular Science and would read it cover to cover, then hand it to me to read and we'd talk about it. We loved watching Beyond 2000 together. 

The last conversation I had with him that was just chatting was about when we lived in Memphis. The man my dad worked for at the time owned a car that had belonged to BB King. Dad was tasked with moving it to a different location so I got to go with him. As we were driving, I saw the pink Cadillac that Elvis bought his mom and fell in love. I was obsessed (at like 3 years old). After that, Dad bought me every pink Cadillac toy he saw. I have an entire collection put away. We just talked and laughed about those childhood memories and had a wonderful laugh. I didn't know it would be the last conversation I'd have with him, but I'll treasure it forever. My inlaws and husband found me this charm. 

I love you Dad and I will forever cherish our memories, conversations, and the lessons you taught me. Thank you for teaching me that hot water freezes faster than cold, that you can achieve anything, and how to argue with a brick wall.