Keeping Your Marriage Strong When Facing Technology

A few days ago, I was on Facebook looking at the news feed. I saw 3 posts with wives complaining about their husbands. This really disgusts me. So, instead of just ranting, I will share mine and my husbands rules for when marriage and technology meet.

My husband and I have been married for 2 years. We have been together for 6 1/2 years. We started dating when we were 22. We started out doing to dating thing and the weekend away thing. Now that we are older and have been together longer, we find that we just enjoy each other's company. We enjoy date nights at home.

In today's world of social media, working at home, and an excess of technology, many things tend to get pushed aside. Sadly, one of the things that suffer with busy lives is our marriages. Today I want to show you how marriages suffer and provide ways to help you keep your marriage from becoming a statistic.

• 66% of divorce attorneys say that Facebook was their primary resource for case evidence. 
• 88% say they have seen an increase in evidence from Facebook
• 30% of divorce filings name Facebook as a contributor
• This website is devoted to stories about social media ruining marriages
• There are even dating networks exclusively for married people looking for new partners

What does this mean for those of us who are not looking to get divorced? That we have to safe guard our marriages against the age of technology and social media. I don't know about you, but I believe divorce is an absolute last resort. My husband and I have instilled rules for our marriage that help us protect it. 

1. NO technology in the bedroom (with the exception of a TV for late night cuddling). My husband doesn't play Xbox in our bedroom. we don't talk on the phone or text in the bedroom either. I don't take my laptop in to work. This keeps our bedroom our sanctuary  we aren't thinking of everything else while we are lying in bed together. 
2. If we have an argument (yes, we have them too), we don't run to Facebook, Twitter, or a blog to complain about the other one. I see this entirely too often and it breaks my heart. 
3. We praise each other in public. This goes along with a very important lesson my mom taught me: "praise in public, criticize in private." I truly enjoy being able to brag on my knight in shining armor. When he sees it, he glows with pride. On the same note, I love hearing my husband say to people online things like "my wife makes the best sausage balls."
4. We never let anything come before our relationship. Even with parenting decisions, we keep in mind what is best for our family as a whole- these decision can affect a marriage. 

There are more things that need to happen for a healthy marriage. Living together isn't enough- you have to actually spend time together. Just the other night, my husband surprised me by setting up the tent in the yard. He even left the top off so we could sleep under the stars. We had a pop up storm and couldn't sleep out there, but the thought was enough to rejuvenate us. 

It is easy to come up with date ideas when you want to spend a chunk of cash, but everyone doesn't always have extra money lying around. Also, wouldn't your spouse love a surprise date night. Can you imagine how much they would appreciate how much thought, creativity, and time you put into a no-cost date night? Here are some ideas to get you started. 

• Have an evening picnic in your yard (or a park if you don't have a yard). Pack a basket with whatever dinner you want, a dessert to share, some candles, champagne, a blanket, and a flower in a vase. Go together, set up, and enjoy each other's company. 
• Have a game night. This can be board games, video games, card games, or even watching football. As long as it is just the two of you, it counts. Some of our favorites are Rock Band, Dungeons&Dragons, battle of the sexes, and monopoly. Its even better if you light some candles. 
• Have a movie night. This movie can even be one you have seen a million times, just be sure to set the mood. Put the movie on, dim the lights, light some candles. Make a bowl of popcorn or a nice dessert. Don't forget to get a cuddle blanket. Its all ready for you and your spouse to curl up on the couch, enjoy each other, and act like teenagers. 
• Cook dinner together. Open a bottle of wine, light some candles, and enjoy some time in the kitchen. My husband and I always have so much fun making pizzas or a seafood feast together. (P.S. He makes THE BEST stuffed mushrooms.) 

Want more ideas? Check out these places:

Still Dating My Spouse

The Mom Crowd

Simply Modern Mom

Redbook

When doing these, be sure to put on a nice outfit, do your hair and makeup, wear his favorite perfume, and get ready to enjoy your husband. 

Remember what is important: spending time with each other, taking the time to love one another, and keeping your marriage strong. I hope you have enjoyed my ideas. What are your favorite home date nights?

Marriage still didn't work? My frieds at Benhur are offereing great advice for moving after a breakup! 

Organize The Rest of 2012: Blogging

I'm sure you can tell by now that I am very organized (even though some times I have to re do everything) and I live by my planner, calendar, lists, and systems. Last week I told you want I do to organize October, November, and December the first week of October. As I mentioned, I do this because frankly, I don't have the time from here on out. I also mentioned that this week, I would tell you how I organize my blog for the rest of the year.

Some things to remember: I am only including this blog - my business blog has been lacking and it has a life of its own. Also, not everyone can live like this; if I don't do these things I get lost.

I know you are thinking that this is all out down to the detail planning, but it really isn't. I am going to share with you what I did this weekend to plan my blog.

1. Decide what holidays you want to do a special post/ series for.

• Halloween and Thanksgiving are getting a special week long series covering different aspects of the holiday. 
• Christmas gets "25 Days of Christmas" with a post every day and some other goodies. 
• New Years gets from December 26th until January 1st. 

2. Block those days off on your calendar and decide on specific posts for the series (I have not completely planned the Christmas posts.) 

3. Decide on posts for the rest of the months, according to the days that you normally post. I have posts planned for almost every day until the rest of the year. There just isn't enough time for everything I want to share. 

4. Make sure this is all in your calendar and figure out a way to get it done, whether it is posting ahead of time or on the day of. 

5. Start a list of things you want to complete before the beginning of 2013. I am doing this for things besides posts. Things that enhance my blog. Here are a few things that are on my list now. 

• Put together a project management book to include my blogs. 
• Get my homeschool blog up
• Revamp my mobile office and launch station. 
• Start my birthday cards for next year (I promise to share a post about this)

     I like to start the year fresh, so these items will help. 

Christmas is a different set up. I have one week devoted to my favorite charity, and the rest will be great Christmas posts. I did 25 Days of Christmas last year on NighLon, so I am looking forward to doing it again this year. I also showcase a different blog each day. I have just started planning this. I have it marked in my calendar for November 1st to be the day I sit down and really organize it. I have gotten started though. I took a piece of paper and wrote 1-25 down the side. Then, I blocked off 1-7 for my special charity posts. Then, I divided it into two columns. I will write a post idea on one side and a blog on the other side. This is not necessarily how I will do them, it is just to gather ideas. 

I hope this helped take some of the stress away from blogging for the remainder of the year. 

Do you have any special tips that help keep your blogging from getting out of control? I would love to hear them. 

Southern Charm Sunday: Throwing a Party for Kids

As I mentioned last week, I learned a lot from the Houseparty Fisher-Price Playdate. It was definitely fun, but I realized that I needed to brush up on my event planning skills. I love planning parties, so I thought I would share some tips with you. A lot of these tips are adapted from things I would do with adult parties.

1. Make sure you have plenty of toys and activities for the children. Their attention spans are pretty short.

2. Make sure the food and activities are age appropriate. Also remember this for children in other age groups that may be attending (such as: siblings, cousins, guests' siblings)

3. Organize and plan- things will go more smoothly. When I am planning a party of any kind, I keep a notebook with me all the time in case I think of something when I'm out. List everything and make lists for week of, day before, and day of.

4. Make lists of what you need. At the house party, I forgot CUPS! Luckily, moms of toddlers always have sippy cups.

5. Have a box of "might need" items. I used to do this all the time, but include items like allergy-free foods, first aid kit, wipes, stain remover, hand sanitizer, ice packs, extra shirts, b be needed. It is a good idea to do this, even if your party is at home.

6. If working with a theme, make sure it is something your child will really enjoy. They will be excited and get the other kids excited.

7. If your children are old enough, let them help with the preparations. If not, let them think they are. While setting up for the house party play date, I let the prince "put together" toys. He thought he was helping, he was having fun, being entertained, and kept him busy while we were setting up.

8. Include something for the adults. It can be special snacks, a quiet place to visit, or a craft station to man. If you need help with the activities, ask- I am sure someone will step up.

9. Be a good host/ hostess. This really should be number one, but I want you to realize how important this is, so I am leaving it near the end. If you are a good host, make sure everyone is having fun, make them comfortable, and put on your most welcoming personality, your party will be a success- your guests will be more likely to enjoy themselves a to you, your family, other guests, and your home.

10. Forget expectations and have fun. Enjoy your children and their friends. Your guests will be more relaxed if they see you relaxed and having fun. Besides, its just bad manners to show your guests that you are not enjoying their company.

Those are my top 10 tips for throwing a kids party- what would you add?

Get Your Sparkle On

I have long been a fan of all things glittery, sparkly, shiny, and pink. I love champagne and how it combines all these things and can make you feel sexy in a way nothing else can. Add to this my love of glamour, class, and the ladies of old time Hollywood (Think Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, and Audrey Hepburn). With these loves, I naturally fell in love with The Champagne Diet and Cara Alwill Leyba. When I had the chance to become part of her Bubbly Brigade, I threw on my 5-inch heels, pearls, channeled my inner starlet, and said "Oh, be a dear and pick me!" Lucky for me, she did pick me. Of course, I think it was a natural match.

I adore Cara's everyday inspirations. Whenever I see something from her, I just want to prance around the house in stilletos sipping a glass of champagne. (Even better if its pink!) I love that Cara and I have the same idea about being fabulous and treating yourself magnificently. When you do this, you feel better, stand up straighter, and believe you deserve the world.

As part of the Bubbly Brigade, I had the honor of reading Sparkle by Cara Alwill Leyba and toasting to its success with her and an amazing bottle of champagne. The first week Sparkle was released, it was an Amazon best seller. This is no easy feat for a first time author.

As soon as I received my copy, I dove in and had it read in two days! I just couldn't put it down. Sparkle is full of stories, fabulous quotes, no-nonsense-get-off-your-butt advice, and affirmations that each and every one of us are fabulous. Reading Sparkle was like sitting down with that best girlfriend who tells you what needs to be said, even if it is "Girl, you've lost your shine!"

That is exactly what Sparkle did for me. Cara sat me down and said "Cupcake, you are fabulous, but you are no longer glittery. You have to get off your ass and channel your inner Marilyn!" I could even hear her voice. She also game me permission to remove the toxic people from my life. I have been working on this for a while, but I am just going to go ahead and do it all at once. Kind of like pulling a band-aid off.

Step one is basically done. No more emailing, calling, or worrying about the toxic people. To be honest, I'm not even giving an explanation- if they don't know, then nothing I say will make them understand. If they don't make me feel sparkly inside, they have no place in my life. No one is immune from getting the boot (at least it has a gorgeous heel!)  Luckily my husband makes me shine like no other can.

Cara even writes about exercise and removing the negative thoughts from your mind. She writes about eating healthy foods but allowing yourself to indulge. She tells us to pour a flute of champagne. Why? Because it only has 100 calories. I do have a plan to follow her advice, but that is going to take a little more teamwork and comittment to lose this 50 pounds I want to banish.

The other thing Sparkle did was show me that I am not being true to my inner Marilyn. I am not that girl that is content lounging around in yoga pants. It just isn't me. I am happiest in an amazing pair of shoes, a huge cocktail ring, and something silky or glittery. That is also the person my husband fell in love with. Thanks to Cara, I have a plan. It may be easy to throw on yoga pants, put my hair in a pony, and not wear any makeup since I work at home. All it does is make me feel frumpy, ugly, and uninspired. (Uninspired is not a good thing for a logo designer to be.)

I am going to make a commitment to learn something new. I will sign up for a french class and learn how to decorate cookies. I will do this as my "me time." I will admit that it is impossible for me to do nothing- my brain goes 90-miles-a-hour all the time. Even when I relax in a bubble bath- I read a business book.

I am also going to start treating work like I am going to an office. I will dress the part and make myself a schedule, instead of working when I can squeeze it in.

At least once a week, I will take the time to celebrate myself. I will toast to something, even if it is for not burning dinner. I will celebrate myself and take myself seriously. I will channel my inner Marilyn. I will sparkle again.

Cara, Thank you for being blunt with me and telling me to get off my ass and find my glisten. Thank you for allowing me to be part of the Bubbly Brigade. Thank you for being an inspiration. Thank you for the journey, it has been FABulous!

To my readers: I have four assignments for you- I promise you will feel totally glamourous!

1. Grab a glass of bubbly!
2. Get a copy of Sparkle: The Girl's Guide to Living a Deliciously Dazzling, Wildly Effervescent, Kick-Ass Life
3. Channel your inner Marilyn (or Elizabeth, Audrey, or whoever your starlet is)
4. Sparkle!

Pit Bull Awareness Month

Every day I am faced with someone new bashing something very near and dear to my heart. Pit Bulls have been part of my life for a very long time, and they will always have a place in my heart.

October is Pit Bull Awareness Month, so I couldn't get through the first week without discussing my favorite breed. I have posted about my love, my anger, and my pups.

10 Facts about Pit Bulls

1. Pit Bulls are often used as therapy dogs. 
2. Pit Bulls are used in Search and Rescue work. One example of well known SAR Pit Bulls is Kris Crawford and her dogs. Kris and her dogs have helped save the lives of many people during their efforts.http://www.ForPitsSake.org
3. Pit Bulls are great with kids. They weren't referred to as the "nanny's dog" for nothing that's for sure.
4. Pit Bulls are not human aggressive.
5. The Pit Bull was so popular in the early 1900's they were our mascot not only in World War One, but World War Two as well. They were featured on recruiting and propoganda posters during this time period.
6. Pit Bulls score an 83.4% passing rate with the American Temperament Test Society. That's better than the popular Border Collie (a breed who scores 79.6%)
7. Sgt. Stubby saved a platoon of U.S. soldiers by warning them of a German gas-attack and captured a German spy; this after having been wounded twice in action.
8. Pit bulls are famously tenacious, whether it's hunting down a rabbit or digging through a fence, this breed loves working hard and pleasing their owners. Unfortunately, an irresponsible or malicious owner can use these same traits of persistence and loyalty for negative goals like fighting.
9. In 1903 Dr. Horatio Nelson Jackson hit the road with a Pit Bull named Bud, who wore goggles, just like his master, to keep the dust from his eyes. Together they made the very first road trip across the US.
10. The Pit Bull is the only breed to have graced the cover of Life magazine three times.

10 Myths About Pit Bulls

1. Once they bite down, a pit bull will not let go. You can’t even pry its jaws apart if you kill it.
2. Pit bulls are genetically bred to kill people.
3. Pit bulls are not good for anything except dogfighting.
4. Pit bulls can not be trained or controlled.
5. Pit bulls are unpredictable; they can turn on anyone, even their owner, at any time.
6. Pit bulls do not feel pain.
7. If a pit bull bites down and tastes blood, they will become aggressive and unstoppable.
8. The Pit Bull’s Brain Never Stops Growing
9. Pit Bulls Are Not as Intelligent as Other Breeds
10. Banning pit bulls will help reduce dog bites and fatal attacks.

These myths are absurd and created by the media and those who do not understand the breed. 

I will admit that in the past, I have been guilty of judging a breed based on one experience. When I was 10, I was terrorized by a Dalmatian  For a long time, I was  scared of them all because of one dog. I couldn't understand why anyone would want a dog like that. 

It wasn't until my mom explained to me how some people saw my dogs that I understood what I was doing. At this time, I had a Chow and a Pit Bull/ German Shepard mix puppy. We had a problem with neighbors complaining about them and blaming them for things they didn't do- all because of their breed. I realized what I was doing and got over my fear of Dalmatians. 

Here are some things to consider:

• 2000-2001 there were 41 fatal dog attacks. Of these, 28 were attacks by a single dog (the other 13 were caused by multiple dogs). Of the 28 single dog attack fatalities: 26 were male, 2 were female. Of the 26 males, 21 were found to be intact (the reproductive status of the remaining 5 male dogs could not be determined). Of the 448 cases of fatal dog attacks from 1965 – 2002, there is NO documented case where a single, neutered, American Pit bull terrier was the cause of a human fatality.
• At least 25 different breeds of dogs have been involved in the 238 dog-bite-related fatalities in the U.S

If I accomplish nothing else by this post, I want to change one person's mind about this beautiful, loving, gentle, loyal, and misunderstood breed. If just one person forgets about stereotypes and judges each dog individually, my mission has been accomplished. 

Have a great day and hug a dog!

Geniuses Among Us: Beauty Box 5

I stumbled on a beautiful and friendly site not too long ago. This is a genius concept. I had seen things like this around, but was kind of skeptical. I mean, seriously, who wants to spend $12 bucks a month to get samples? Then I found out who-- ME! Beauty Box 5 is really amazing!

After emailing customer support to ask some questions, I was given an an amazing opportunity to work with them. I like what I have seen and will use this service. This is my why:

The customer service is amazing and believe it or not, these are useful size samples- not like what you get out of a magazine or in a drug store. They are also quality boutique products. I didn't have to worry about cheap products giving me a rash or anything. 

The sample sizes are big enough to truly gauge if you would benefit from the product. In fact, a couple of my samples seemed like they were non-trial size. 

I fell in love with every product, but I don't want to dwell on these amazing items:

Blink Mascara

Becca Eye Tint

pur~delicate

Easy Peeling

Girl Friday Blush

I want to actually discuss my experience. 

Something rather odd happened- every item that was actual makeup went with my skin tone. This is weird because I didn't fill out a questionnaire. I also have to watch what colors I wear because my skin is light, my eyes are green, and my hair is very dark. Yet, every item they sent me was flattering. 

If there is a product that you absolutely have to have, you can go to there site and order it there. I love things that make life easier. 

 The branding is absolutely beautiful- I love that color and it makes me happy when I see it. Which means- when I open my mailbox and see it there, I smile. I also adore the thank you note that comes with it! 

Everyone needs something to look forward to every month- why not let it be makeup!

In these photos, I am wearing items from the Beauty Box 5 kit. The only items that are from my own collection are my black eyeliner, my purple eyeliner, and my powder foundation. I am wearing the Becca eye tint, blinc mascara, and girl friday blush!

I am in love with this service and cannot wait to get my next box.

Disclaimer: I did receive a box free of charge, but all opinions are my own and I will receive them in the future by my own purchase.